Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Hope in a Jar

Have you ever heard of the face moisturizer made by Philosophy called Hope in a Jar? Well it is the name of a great cream.....I know because I use it. It made my skin feel good and soft and didn't make it all slimed up like some of them do. So when I saw a book called Hope in a Jar written by Beth Harbison I knew I had to read it. Of course, I thought that I would write a review of the book and in a way this is a review but the subject matter has changed from the story to how the it taught me a lesson just at the correct time in my life.

Allie joins Weight Watchers to take off the 20 pounds she's put on while being in an unsatisfying relationship. The torture she goes through while trying to avoid the scale is real – I know, I've felt the exact same emotions when weighing every Monday. But nothing is like the very first time, when you've sucked up everything you've got and removed every spec of clothing down to the earing's [because they too weigh something].....and you get on and you face the truth. I always squint. Somehow, if you narrow your eyes or glare at that bathroom demon.....it just might not be so bad.

Back.....several years ago, I had a flimsy scale with a dial. I could fudge my weight back then. If I hung my toes over the edge I weighed just a tiny bit less. It really didn't matter so much back then.....I did weigh less. Now, I have a digital scale. It is impossible to fudge the numbers. It is exact. It tells you right down to the ounces. It can even tell you your body fat if you want it do. Why would you want it to? As if finding out what you weigh isn't already bad enough. If it doesn't tell me what I want to hear.....I threaten it. I tell it I'm going to toss it out into the snow and drive over it with my Honda.

It's a love/hate relationship. I am thankful when it tells me I weigh less. So happy that I do the 'weight loss happy bathroom boogie'. But beware, if you find some broken bits of glass and metal in a snow bank in the road.....you'll know why.

The summer between grades 11 and 12 I worked at McDonald's. I ate there during breaks. I packed on weight at lightening speed. That autumn, I took up stationary bike riding and calorie counting. The extra 40 pounds came off quickly and easily. After I got married I again began to have a weight issue. I adopted the fashionable fat-free diet plan and re-bonded with my bike. I lost weight again quickly and easily.

After that, weight started to creep back on. Why? I was so tired of the battle. I was exhausted from having to work out all the time. I was sick of worrying about every spec of whatever I put in my mouth. I was angry at not being able to enjoy life. So I checked out.

One day in 2008 my sister-in-law talked to me about trying her program. You may know this part of the story and how I was to able to release 100 pounds. But what you may not know is that many of those old feelings resurfaced. Why is this last bit so hard to lose? Why do I have to watch so closely what I eat? Why do I have to try so hard? Why can't I just have that donut when I want one?

Because I can't.

I just CAN'T.

This is where the book becomes so important. 
 
Allie says, “I have to work that hard and that's all there is to it.” 
 
This is just the way it is. It comes down to this. If I want to live a long, happy, healthy, active life.....this is how I have to do it. I can't wonder about the other stuff. I can't dwell on what I can't have. There isn't any Hope in a Jar for weight loss. The hope comes from inside me. I am the jar.

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