It's only a number.
Forty is the new twenty.
You're only as old as you feel.
Except lately I've been feeling like I'm falling apart. I have the hypothyroidism to deal with. I swore I wasn't going to go into my forties weighing as much as I do, but thanks to this little diagnosis my wishes and efforts just didn't work out the way I wanted. I tweaked something in my back a month ago and now the pain comes and goes. I have tendinitis which gets aggravated from random work...anything from housework to gardening. Oh yeah, and then there's the sun allergy which prevents me from enjoying the outdoors. I worry about everything. I worry that worrying about things draws things to me. And now I have convinced myself I have reached the age to which "breast health" is a bigger issue.
I cried on Hubby's shoulder tonight. I sobbed and even then I couldn't let everything go. He reminded me that there are plenty of people in worse situations than me. I know that's true.
I think being sick this week just messed with my head. I was lonely and sick.
This is not how I wanted to remember turning 40.
Do you remember two years ago? I celebrated my birthday in the Minor Emergency Clinic. I had an allergic reaction to something unknown and was covered in hives.
A memorable birthday from my childhood is my 10th birthday. I was able to sign out a ukulele from our school music class for the weekend. This was terribly exciting to me. It was also one of the last times I remember both Grandma and Grandpa Dean being there for my birthday. They gave me a 10 speed orange bicycle.....you know, the kind with the curvy handle bars.
Last Saturday, my In Law's hosted a family barbecue. We had hamburgers, coleslaw, cucumber salad, tomato salad and baked beans. We sat in the yard in lawn chairs while different people ribbed me about turning forty. When the weather cooled off we went inside. There was a chocolate layer cake and a chorus of Happy Birthday. I told them I was glad they didn't put candles on the cake because it would burn the house down! Everyone laughed. I received a gift of a fuzzy white blanket and a new set of drinking glasses which we desperately needed but had already bought for ourselves. It was fun. I felt appreciated by people who don't usually show those types of emotions.
Hubby tells me that my present might arrive late. All I know is that it's arriving from Amazon. We have reservations at an Italian restaurant for Saturday 5pm. Il Salici boasts authentic Italian cuisine.
I have it on good authority that they have cannoli!!! Birthday Cannoli. Happy Birthday to me!