Thursday, October 11, 2012

Java & The Human Bean

We usually buy Kirkland Brand coffee from Costco.  It always tastes good.  The last while I've gotten hooked on adding creamers for flavouring.  I know they are calorie rich and full of sugar and fat, but man, they make a cup of coffee taste good.  This morning I had the thought, "If I had my own coffee company I'd make coffee sweet already.....so no one has to add anything."  Why hasn't anyone thought of that?

My coffee shop would be called The Human Bean.  It would be created with real people in mind.....you know, the human kind who don't care about fancy names.  There wouldn't be any tall, grande or vente in my shop.  Nope, just good old small, medium, large and the give-me-all -the-coffee-you have jumbo size.

The cups would be real insulated cups too with non-spill lids.  There's be no need for fancy cuffs or double cupping.  Everyone would enjoy the lids because it wouldn't mess that white blouse you worked so hard ironing for the job interview only to stop and drip coffee down the front.  Ugh.  Right?!

I'd have blends like Wide Awake,  Intravenous,  The Morning After, I've Got Company, Heading to Bed [decaf of course], Working Late, First Date, Save Me from My Kids [which may or may not have a shot of Vodka added] and PMS.  Although PMS might just be hot chocolate with a coffee bean floating on top.

There would be cold drinks as well.  They'd have titles like Lordy I'm Hot, Chillaxin' and Sitting in the Shade.

This wouldn't be the type of coffee shop to sell frou-frou types of baking.  Good old fashioned cookies and squares is what I'd sell.  Nanaimo Bars, Matrimonial Squares, Rice Crispy Treats and real cookies that were made for dipping like Ginger Snaps.

Yup.  There'd be no messing around at the Human Bean.

The staff would be friendly and helpful.  We'd encourage you to sit and visit but if you'd rather sit and do homework.....you might just want to continue on your way.  It would be comfortable but not that comfortable.  We'd play real music on the sound system, but we wouldn't try to peddle you the latest cd.  We'd have it tuned in softly so you could carry on a decent conversation without yelling and straining your voice.

Alas, it is not meant to be.  When I googled the name, someone else has already taken it made it organic and fair trade.  Meh. I guess I'll settle for my International Chocolate Mint creamer after all.

14 comments:

  1. You need to copyright this blog and all those names RIGHT NOW. I can TOTALLY see this shop. I want to go there.

    Please. Make it so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. er....okay.

      THIS BLOG IS HEREBY COPYRIGHTED. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

      Delete
  2. Write a book with this as the hub.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm having enough trouble writing the story I am without starting another! But good idea.

      Delete
  3. I'm a super-old-fashioned coffee drinker -- plain old french roast brewed in an old-school french press (no fancy automatic coffee makers for me!) and consumed with nothing else to taint it... that or straight espresso. I like sweets, but coffee and tea taste best to me in their unadulterated form, with the sweets on the side. And yeah, ginger snaps for dipping rock! Or anise biscotti -- not everyone has those, because they aren't as popular as the non-anise ones :(

    Costco is pretty good about sourcing their products and they get pretty good beans. If I didn't already buy my beans from my local coffee shop I'd buy theirs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Starbucks near my house had a biscotti that had little bits of toffee in it. It was so good. They don't have it anymore.

      I don't buy whole beans anymore even though I do have a bean grinder. We buy the ground stuff in the can. I do also know that water makes a huge difference in how coffee tastes. Here the French blends are horrible tasting. Sumatra is probably one of my favourites.

      Delete
    2. I'm a plain coffee drinker, too. I thought I'd love my keurig (and I do!) but I was surprised to find how simple my tastes are: strong (but not so acidic it hurts my stomach), rich, and black. I figured I'd be all over the specialty coffees... not so much...

      Delete
    3. I've always had to doctor my coffee. I shouldn't say that totally because there was a while there when I was super intense on losing weight that I drank it black. But I think I drank weaker coffee back then too. If it is strong coffee it needs additives.

      You are right. Just because it is a specialty coffee that doesn't mean it tastes good.

      Delete
  4. This sounds like an awesome coffee shop. I'm with Miki!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great blog! I am a strange one cause I do not like coffee at all. Tried the ice ones and they give me very bad headache...so no coffee for me. I am a diet cola person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't drink tons of coffee. I have 1 or 2 cups in the morning. I've cut back because I always had a coffee at work but now I'm trying to drink tea or water some days instead.

      Perhaps you are allergic to caffeine?

      I drink diet cola too. And diet dr. pepper. And diet other things. I am finding I am liking the carbonated drinks less and less though. I tend to drink more crystal light types of things now. It's cool how tastes change.

      Delete